Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
