Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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