god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
