I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
He's on the porch naked. Help.
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