hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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