Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
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