I think i peed on brittanys purse
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
