I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
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