Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
whose parrot is this?
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Randomize
