I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Randomize
