You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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