Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
