You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
