He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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