She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
