I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I am full of burrito and curiosity
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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