She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Randomize
