my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Randomize
