im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Randomize
