his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
