the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
