So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
