How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
