I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
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