I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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