I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Randomize
