Don't you send me to vm
Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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