used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
