I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Terrible idea I love it
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
