So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
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