dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
