I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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