We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
