Just cropdusted the office
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Randomize
