I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Randomize
