Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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