It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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