I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Randomize
