I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
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