thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Randomize
