Buhtt sex?
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
