If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize