You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
