I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
i think i have herpe
just one?
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
