No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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