yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
