If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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