Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I didn't notice because vodka
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
