There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
