If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
