Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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