I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize