I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Randomize
