i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Randomize
