I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
two words...techno handjob
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
